Just the other day I was listening to high school seniors discuss their fears about college. One of them said that the school she is going to isn’t diverse and she fears she won’t be appreciated. She said something about having to change who she is or how she acts so she can feel accepted.
FIND YOUR PEOPLE, don’t change who you are!
I have run into so many stories and situations that illustrate the importance of finding people who are like you and who can appreciate you. THEY ARE OUT THERE…They are everywhere, but you have to find them.
Sure, you have to try to fit in at times, but overall, it won’t be that hard if you gravitate to people who are like-minded and have similar interests. When you start a new job or go to a new school, this may not happen naturally. You may need to join a club or step outside your comfort zone to find people who you can connect to.
There have been times in my life where I struggled with this. I can get along with almost anyone, but to be able to be myself I need to find people who are like me and I can’t feel criticized for being who I am. One of my best paying jobs landed me in a culture that didn’t appreciate me. I got along with others and was successful at work, but I always felt like the majority of the people I spent my day with just didn’t “get” me. This felt strange and left me feeling depressed and anxious. When I finally left that job, I realized just how hard that had been for me.
In my new setting, I feel appreciated by most everyone. I am more confident and comfortable being who I am and have had less depression and anxiety. It feels really good. We all deserve to be in a culture of acceptance and sometimes that means finding the right fit for you and FINDING YOUR PEOPLE.
Here are some tips:
*college students – join clubs, talk to people in your classes. If your roommate is not a good fit for you, don’t wait too long to meet people you really connect with. Even if you can’t change your living situation right away, you can spend most of your free time with the people who build you up and it won’t be so bad.
*use social media to connect with others – even if you aren’t able to see YOUR PEOPLE in person, knowing that you have a team of people that support and believe in you will help.
If you don’t know who you are yet, or don’t know who your people are, give it time. Try to think more about what makes you happy and what you like to do. Try new things and don’t continue with projects, clubs, majors or jobs that aren’t fitting well. Read some books or do some journaling to dig into who you are and what you enjoy.
Be patient, but be determined. You will feel so much better once you find your people.