My brother-in-law is dying. He has been struggling with cancer and a variety of health challenges for over four years and his body is finally giving up.
As our family waits and worries, I am realizing how fleeting life is. We have no idea how much time we have to live this life, yet we waste time worrying, stressing, working, complaining and not savoring every single second we have in this life.
I am not young. Even though there are many challenges, I have a lot to be grateful for, yet I still find ways to waste time worrying about what I cannot control. When students, friends or family need my support, I remind them to breathe and focus on what they can control. Why can’t I take my own advice?
It’s
Not
That
Easy
But, take a moment now and breathe, think about one thing you are grateful for and if it makes you feel better, make a list of some things you can control and then prioritize. Give yourself grace and find time in your day for self care.
If your vibe is low, run, dance, listen to loud music, take a drive with your windows down. There are plenty of things you can do to turn your energy into something more positive, but you must find what works for you.
Here’s my list of what works for me:
1. Walk alone in silence – pray, meditate, repeat a mantra.
2. Listen to music – Amazon Music has all sorts of playlists, so you can be very specific about the type of music that may help you.
3. Take a drive down a pretty street – try to go somewhere different that will give you a fresh perspective – avoid areas that may trigger stressful memories.
4. Call a friend – if you haven’t already, ask one of your friends to be that person you can call when you need someone to help you put things in perspective. Most friends will do this for you, but it will be easier for you if you have someone lined up ahead of time.
5. Clean my house, or even just one room. If your house is a mess, just clear off one table and put everything in a box to sort later.
6. Play with an animal (my cats or take a shelter dog on a day visit). Even just looking at pictures of your pets can bring your heart rate down and bring you joy.
7. Work in the garden or do anything in nature.
8. Hug a tree.
9. Pick flowers and put them in a vase on my kitchen table.
10. Plan a getaway – even if it is just a short day trip.
Hang your list on your bathroom or bedroom mirror.
Don’t waste another minute…live in peace…NOW.
And to my dear brother-in-law, Robin, we love you and know that you lived your best life, even during the struggles, you brought joy to everyone’s life through your music, your humor and your love. In your honor, may we all live our best life every day and find ways to be at peace and enjoy every minute.