“Do I know you?” I asked.
“Yes, we’ve met many times,” she said.
I didn’t recognize her at all, although I had talked to her many times over the past few years. She looked somewhat familiar, but I couldn’t place her.
“I cut my hair,” she said. “And lost weight.”
Something else was different.
“I have been trying to get more familiar with who I am. Now that I’ve had a chance to reflect on myself, I realized that i was presenting the person who I thought I should be, who society would accept and who could be most successful.”
We went on to talk about how she was forced to bury her African American self and heritage to be what society wanted. She straightened her hair and tried to behave in a way that wasn’t natural, so that she could fit the mold society wanted.
She explained that the recent attention society has had on the suppression of all African Americans and how that suppression effected her upbringing and who she had become as a middle aged African American women.
She decided to cut her hair and be herself for the first time in her life.
This awakening led to a new energy and positive vibe. It wasn’t just her hair that was different. Her energy, aura and personality glowed. She was friendly, happy, engaged and I couldn’t believe it was the same person I had seen before.
We all need to dig deep to find our glow. Think about the messages you received that were the “shoulds” you experienced as a child. Were you allowed to be yourself or were you coached to hide the real you. Judgement by your relatives along with media messages you received probably forced you to change your image and behaviors. Code switching can be helpful at times, but did to invent someone else and hide your true self?
Reflect on this and find ways to dig into yourself. Who are YOU? What can you do to stop living incognito and show the world who you really are? This process will take time, but in the end, I have no doubt…you will glow!
